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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469645">This is EROS</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistehri/pseuds/Mistehri'>Mistehri</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>「 Insider 」: Ode to Soonyoung &amp; Jihoon [15]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>#HOWOOnderland, #HWFF, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Director Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Don’t continue if you don’t want to read spoilers, Fluff, Idol Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, It happens in the bathroom ._., It’s Not Really a Proposal, Jealous Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, SPOILERS in the next tags!, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Swearing, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:48:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistehri/pseuds/Mistehri</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee Jihoon is a director well known for his brutal demeanor and harsh ways of directing, and Kwon Soonyoung is a rising star in the industry looking for someone to direct his comeback song, “Light a Flame.” Looking for a director wouldn’t have been so difficult if they weren’t ex-boyfriends, and through lots of sexual tension and unresolved conflicts, one of them is bound to break...but not in the way you think</p><p>or</p><p>Idol Soonyoung and director Jihoon meeting for a commercial shooting. The catch? They’re exes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>「 Insider 」: Ode to Soonyoung &amp; Jihoon [15]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>HOWOOnderland Fic Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This is EROS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! This fic is part of the <a href="https://twitter.com/HOWOOnderlandFF?s=20%E2%80%9D%20rel=">HOWOOnderland</a> (HWFF) fic fest! This is my first ever fic fest I’ve joined and I really had a lot of fun writing out the prompt. I’m really glad I could get a chance to experience this, huhuhu, so special thanks to moots who started the fic fest all because they had a writer’s block :)</p><p>Enjoy reading! ❤</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You accepted his offer?!”</p><p><em>This is not happening, </em>Jihoon thinks incredulously to himself, rubbing his hands over his face. He can feel a vein threatening to pop from his temple. <em>This absolutely cannot be happening.  </em></p><p>Anyone who’s had the pleasure of working underneath <em>the </em>Lee Jihoon would know that when he’s angry, you better hope you’re not to cause of it or you can pay him an arm and a leg, and maybe even your brain if you’re <em>that </em>idiotic. It’s not like Jihoon <em>wants </em>to be mad anyway. He just has a short temper, and there were very few people who actually knew how <em>not </em>to push his buttons.</p><p>Jihoon knows he’s a pain to work with. He doesn’t dare settle for anything less than his absolute best. His perfectionism has earned him reviews from former employees vowing to never work with him again in fear of getting the short end of the stick. He’s learned to ignore what other people say about him now, because no matter what he says or does, everything is going to be scrutinized in some way. If he’s got people complaining about him, at least they’re paying attention to what he does. </p><p>It’s in times like these where he wishes he could go <em>past </em>his already brutal demeanor though, because now he’s just pissed off to the max, to the point where he wishes he could be pissed off some <em>more.  </em></p><p>“What the fuck do you mean you accepted his offer?!” Jihoon asks through gritted teeth, whipping his head to aim a nasty glare at his co-director. “You’re telling me he gave you the drafts <em>two weeks ago</em>, you looked it over, and <em>accepted it </em>without telling me?! And we’re due to start shooting <em>tomorrow?!”  </em></p><p>His co-director doesn’t bat an eye at him. “Yes,” he says plainly. “What’s wrong with that?”</p><p>“You know what’s wrong,” Jihoon hisses, shooting a glare towards his cleanup crew trying to eavesdrop on their conversation through his office windows. They all scuttle like roaches and quickly busy themselves with other tasks. “You’re a menace, Wonwoo,” he growls. “I should fire you.”</p><p>Wonwoo finally looks up from his clipboard and sighs, pushing his glasses up. “Go ahead,” he says, and his calm demeanor only pisses Jihoon off more. “Good luck finding a new co-director to help you when you’re juggling two commercial shootings next week.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Jihoon spits back, unable to think of anything clever to say. “Seriously, fuck you.”</p><p>“You’d rather be fucking Soonyoung,” comes Wonwoo’s witty reply.</p><p>Jihoon growls, clenching his fist tight around his pen. “Don’t even start. I’ve gone all my days without thinking about that idiot, and you are <em>not </em>going to make me think about him again, you hear me?! Cancel it! Tell him we’ve got some last minute booking or we’re too busy — I don’t care!”</p><p>“That’s unprofessional, Jihoon,” Wonwoo says calmly. “You’re being immature.”</p><p>“You backstabbed me!” Jihoon exclaims pettily, trying to defend what’s left of his pride. He rubs the rings on his finger absentmindedly, an unconscious habit he’s formed ever since his ex left him. “I have a right to act this way when you didn’t even tell me — ”</p><p>“Tell you what?” Wonwoo cuts him off, and Jihoon <em>hates </em>that. “Tell you that you're gonna have to meet with your ex? Face it — you can’t keep running away from your problems. Besides, his concept is something you specialize in anyway. Nobody else specializes in that concept the way you do.”</p><p>As flattering as the compliment is, Jihoon knows better. Wonwoo is trying to get him to play his game, but he’s not going to participate in it. He’s been too busy and <em>way </em>too successful to let something as unimportant as his failed relationship get in his way, and he’s not about to let it get to him by the voice of Jeon Wonwoo.</p><p>“I don’t care,” he says stubbornly. “Call him and tell him I refuse to work with him. He can find someone else to direct his music video, just not me.”</p><p>Wonwoo sighs deeply. “I’m not trying to imply that working with him will make old feelings resurface, Jihoon. I just think it’s a good opportunity to clear things up. You did tell me your breakup was a little messy and you never got proper closure, and you both probably left the relationship with ill feelings. This is your chance to get that closure you deserve.”</p><p>That “deserve” almost makes Jihoon give in. <em>Almost.   </em></p><p>“It was clear he didn’t care to get closure when we broke up,” Jihoon says harshly. “What’s over is over. I’m done with his ass, and I’ll definitely be done with yours if you don’t cancel the shooting with him.”</p><p>At this point of his career, he doesn’t have the time or energy to put himself in a relationship, instead swamping himself with work behind the cameras. Producing movies and pouring his everything into his works has been the only constant in his life ever since his breakup.</p><p>“Canceling the shoot will be so last minute though,” Wonwoo tries. “Why don’t you give him a chance to — ”</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck,” Jihoon says snarkily. “Tell him it’s canceled or I’m seriously firing your ass, Jeon Wonwoo. You were the one who accepted the offer without telling me — ”</p><p>
  <em>Knock. Knock. Knock.  </em>
</p><p>“Who is it?” Jihoon bites out, patience worn thin.</p><p>“You have clients waiting to go over some details of the upcoming shoot,” comes Jeonghan’s calm voice.</p><p>At the sound of that, Jihoon feels some of the stress from his shoulders lighten and he lets out a relieved sigh. He can always count on Jeonghan to make his day even just the slightest bit better.</p><p>“Send them in,” he orders.</p><p>The door opens, and Jihoon feels his heart drop to his stomach. Jeonghan opens the door with a glint in his eye that tells Jihoon he’s up to no good again, and when he sees the people who step in, he understands <em>why.   </em></p><p>“Oh, hell no,” he blurts out when he makes eye contact with his ex. </p><p>Jeonghan leaves the room slyly without saying anything, and Jihoon thinks he’ll be next on his list of who to fire next.</p><p>He wasn’t too sure what he’d been expecting. Wonwoo <em>did </em>tell him they were due to start shooting tomorrow, he just didn’t know they were meeting up <em>today. </em>When Wonwoo told him he already looked over the drafts two weeks ago, Jihoon thought he already finalized the ideas. He didn’t think there was still finalizing left to be done.</p><p>“Good afternoon, Jihoon-ssi,” Soonyoung greets kindly. “It’s nice to meet you again.” </p><p>Jihoon doesn’t know whether he should be angry or humiliated. He stands there dumbly with his mouth parted and eyes blinking owlishly at the sight before him. There’s suddenly too many people in the room and not enough room to <em>breathe. </em>Seeing his ex standing there less than ten feet in front of him is bringing back too many unwanted memories and unwarranted emotions. </p><p>He’s so focused on Soonyoung that he doesn’t notice the man and woman standing beside Soonyoung.</p><p>Stiffly, Jihoon turns to Wonwoo and says, “Cancel it. I'm not shooting with him.” From the corner of his eye, he sees Soonyoung’s smile fall, but he convinces himself he’s not worried. “He can go find some other director willing to work on his music video. It won’t be me.”</p><p>“Jihoon — ” Wonwoo starts exasperatedly, but the man besides Soonyoung cuts in.</p><p>“Excuse me, Jihoon-ssi?” he says, stepping forward and offering his hand. “I'm Hong Joshua, Soonyoung’s manager and the one who contacted your crew in the first place. It’s an honor to be working with you.”</p><p>Jihoon stares at his hand plainly. “Hmm.”</p><p>Awkwardly, Joshua pulls his hand back and coughs a little. “Anyway, I've sent over the drafts for Soonyoung’s concept last week and got word from Wonwoo-ssi that it has been approved by you. I didn’t know that you were unaware of these tight circumstance.” He frowns a little. “I’ve seen your films before and your theme is exactly what we need to shoot for Soonyoung’s concept. We're running on a tight schedule, but I’ve heard you work well under pressure.”</p><p>Jihoon crosses his arms. “And what exactly is Soonyoung-ssi’s concept?”</p><p>“Intimacy,” Soonyoung speaks up, and Jihoon’s eyes stray from Joshua’s eyes to Soonyoung’s sharply. “My concept has to do with intimacy.”</p><p>“Then I am happily dismissing you from my office this instant,” Jihoon says, uninterested. “I do not specialize in intimacy. You can go find another director to direct your music video.”</p><p>“But...you specialize in sexual concepts, do you not?” Joshua asks confusedly.</p><p>“Correct,” Jihoon says bluntly. “I do specialize in sexual concepts. Intimacy is not sexual.”</p><p>“Intimacy <em>is </em>sex, is it not?”</p><p>Jihoon’s eyes flicker to the voice of the woman besides Soonyoung, and he narrows his eyes at her aggressive tone. Oh, he definitely knows a bitch when he sees one, and not even Jeonghan gave him this kind of vibe when they first met. Jihoon will admit that she’s pretty, but her heart is definitely not the prettiest thing in the room.</p><p>“And who are you?” he asks stiffly.</p><p>“Jung Daeun,” she states. “I am Soonyoung’s partner for his concept.” </p><p>Jihoon feels his blood go cold at that but he masks his unusual annoyance with a stiff smile, eye twitching ever so slightly.</p><p>“Well, <em>Daeun-ssi,” </em>he says with a little more force. “Let me educate you the difference between what I specialize in, what intimacy is, and what sexual means. It's rather embarrassing how confident you are to come into my office and request that <em>I </em>direct Soonyoung-ssi’s music video without being able to differentiate those three.”</p><p>He tilts his head and begins pacing around the room, arms crossed and facial expression hard as he clicks his tongue. He doesn’t need to look to know Wonwoo wants to get out of the room, but he doesn’t dismiss him quite yet. He needs emotional stability.</p><p>“Sexual,” he begins, circling Daeun like a prey, “relates to the word sex. What is sex?” He stops in front of Daeun and stares her in the eye. “Sex is more than pleasure. It's more than giving your body to your partner. It’s being able to feel so close to them, so connected, so comfortable with your partner that it takes your breath away. You become one with your partner in a <em>physical </em>aspect.”</p><p>Daeun narrows her eyes. “Then what is intimacy, Jihoon-ssi?”</p><p>“You think that intimacy is sex,” Jihoon says back, a little ticked, “but it isn’t. Intimacy is about being <em>truthful. </em>When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can simply be yourself around your partner, when you break down in front of them and their response is ‘you’re safe with me’ — that’s intimacy. It’s an emotional experience.”</p><p>“Jihoon, you’re projecting,” comes Wonwoo’s voice from behind him.</p><p>Before Jihoon can retort, Soonyoung speaks up, “So what exactly do you specialize in, Jihoon-ssi?”</p><p>Jihoon’s eyes flicker to Soonyoung’s instinctively and he almost regrets it. The look on Soonyoung’s face is intense, eyes smoldering and ever so sharp with something Jihoon can’t quite put his finger on. They look like pure liquid fire, blazing with something fierce and fervent. Jihoon almost shivers at how potent Soonyoung’s aura suddenly seems, and he can’t help but become hyperaware of how Soonyoung’s intense gaze feels on his face, prickling his skin with pins and needles.</p><p><em>“Eros,” </em>he says when he finds his voice. “I specialize in a concept named <em>Eros.”   </em></p><p>He begins circling Daeun and Soonyoung, seeing them exchange confused glances with each other. Something bitter crawls in the back of his throat at the sight but he continues on, reminding himself that what he and Soonyoung had is nonexistent now. </p><p>“Eros is a mythological Greek god,” Jihoon starts, continuing his slow pacing. “He is the god of love, sexual desire, lust, infatuation — he is thought to be the son of Aphrodite, in fact.”</p><p>“So...Eros is sexual,” Daeun deadpans.</p><p>Jihoon ignores her, eyes magnetically drawn to the intense stare of Soonyoung’s. “When you think of Eros, what is the first word that comes to mind?”</p><p>Soonyoung doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Erotic.”</p><p>Jihoon continues pacing around Soonyoung. “Precisely. Eros represents intense passion and desire for something. As I’ve mentioned, he is the god of lust and infatuation — sexual desire and attraction. It comes naturally to us. It’s <em>primal</em>.” He slows down his pace until he stops in front of Soonyoung, looking up at him stoically. “Have you experienced <em>Eros</em>, Soonyoung-ssi?”</p><p>“I think so,” comes Soonyoung’s raspy voice.</p><p>“Thinking isn’t good enough,” Jihoon says harshly. “You need to experience it to truly understand what <em>Eros </em>is.”</p><p>Soonyoung licks his lips, voice lowering as he murmurs, “Then why don’t you indulge me, Jihoon-ssi?”</p><p>Jihoon blinks, feeling something constrict inside him. Maybe it’s his lungs, the air getting stolen out of them from the unexpected question. Perhaps it’s his throat, words dying down on his tongue and locking to prevent him from saying anything. Maybe it’s his heart, for reasons he would rather not recall and memories he’d rather avoid. The feeling is intense, restricting. It’s rather rare for him to forget what he wants to say, but he’s suddenly reminded of how easy it is for him to forget his words around one Kwon Soonyoung. He hates it, <em>despises </em>that his ex can still affect him like this.</p><p>Then Soonyoung’s eyes soften and he frowns, looking meek. “Sorry. Uh, that wasn’t supposed to — ”</p><p>In one swift movement, Jihoon’s hand shoots out and he fists Soonyoung’s shirt, fingers curling tightly in the fabric before he tugs Soonyoung’s body harshly towards him. Soonyoung lets out a strangled gasp, stumbling over to Jihoon and stopping by the force of the director’s forearm against his chest. Jihoon tugs again, pulling Soonyoung down until he’s bent over. Then, reaching up, Jihoon blows lightly in his ear and feels an immense satisfaction run inside him when he sees Soonyoung visibly shiver.</p><p>He <em>never </em>backs out from a challenge.</p><p>“Tell me what you’re feeling right now,” Jihoon murmurs into his ear, barely audible to anyone around them. “Excited? Nervous? Maybe a little aroused?”</p><p>He sees Soonyoung’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “All of the above.”</p><p>Jihoon lifts his hand and tentatively runs his hand across Soonyoung’s jawline, the pads of his fingers grazing against smooth skin until he can hook the crook of his pointer finger underneath his chin, lifting it up so they’re making eye contact. Soonyoung’s eyes have darkened drastically, fogged over with something Jihoon is all too familiar with. The sight of it excites him in a way he forgot was possible, and he momentarily forgets about the walls he built up in the first place.</p><p>Gently, he presses the pad of his thumb against Soonyoung’s bottom lip and pushes down slightly, making him part his lips. Then, tilting his head and lowering his eyelids, Jihoon asks in a soft, sultry voice, “Does this feel like <em>Eros </em>to you, Soonyoung?”</p><p>He hears Soonyoung’s breath stutter slightly, and he can see Soonyoung’s pupils dilate from how close they are. Jihoon’s heart is pounding loudly in his own ears, skin feeling warm all over and chest tingling with a familiar feeling he’s learned to ignore long ago. Now though, it seems like every nerve that burned up inside him when they broke up has ignited again, and liquid heat begins to pool in the pit of his stomach. Everyone in the room fades away into smoke, and all Jihoon can focus on is Soonyoung’s sharp, intense gaze.</p><p>“Yes,” comes Soonyoung’s whisper. “It feels like <em>Eros.”  </em></p><p>Jihoon holds his chin in place for a minute, finding himself holding onto that ball of heat in his chest. Then he lets go and steps away, masking his expression into something more stiff, more professional.</p><p>“I want you to feel the way you do when you are on my set,” Jihoon says sharply. “Do not ever forget that feeling. If you want my concept to pair with your concept, I will not take anything less than what I deem is truly <em>Eros</em>. Do you understand?” He returns his gaze to Joshua and Daeun, who both seem rather stunned at what was displayed in front of them. Jihoon can’t help the dark satisfaction he feels when he sees Daeun’s flabbergasted expression. “I am willing to work with you if you are willing to take all my criticisms. I am not afraid to live up to my reputation. Understand?”</p><p>“We understand,” comes Joshua’s weak reply as opposed to Soonyoung’s confident one.</p><p>Jihoon spins on his heel and doesn’t look at any of them. “Perfect. We will begin shooting tomorrow as you’ve requested. Make sure your crew is prepared. I will not go so easy on them either. You can leave.”</p><p>Jihoon doesn’t move until he hears them leave. From the chaise lounge, Wonwoo is looking at him with a raised eyebrow, expression disapproving yet amused.</p><p>“I thought you wanted nothing to do with — ”</p><p>“Not another word, Jeon Wonwoo,” Jihoon cuts off harshly. “Contact our prop manager, our set designers, our stylists — everyone. Tell them they're due to meet for another shooting by tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>When Jihoon first heard Soonyoung’s song playing live on set, his first thought was <em>shit. </em>The sound of it was incredibly seductive and the words did not aid in his willingness to direct the music video <em>at all. </em>While the song had been playing in the background, Jihoon has been trying to make himself busy by ordering his crew around to get the sets that he envisioned for the shoot.</p><p>Soonyoung’s intense stares from across the set design also do not help his case, and neither does Daeun’s flirtatious nature towards Soonyoung. Jihoon feels like punching her.</p><p>“Cut!” Jihoon orders through his megaphone. “I said to <em>dim </em>the lighting, not create a fucking blackout! The set should be tinged in oranges, not fucking <em>brown! </em>Fix it instantly or so help me, no one is leaving until we finish!”</p><p>His crew all follow his orders, running around like headless chickens, barking at each other to adjust the lighting as needed and readjust some furniture on the set. </p><p>Soonyoung and Daeun are on the bed of the set, and Jihoon feels something tug in his chest when he sees his ex raising his head from Daeun’s neck in confusion. From what Jihoon had planned in his head and from the drafts Joshua sent to Wonwoo, it’s inevitable that the two would end up being intimate with each other one way or another, and it leaves a sour taste in Jihoon’s mouth. He’s been trying to remind himself that he has no right to feel this way, but it’s difficult for him.</p><p>He's more agitated than usual, and Wonwoo’s deep sigh only proves to him that he’s becoming distracted by Soonyoung’s presence not too far from them. It’s a nuisance, to say the least, because he’s distorting his own vision of what he imagined for this shoot. He wanted dim orange lights, rose petals, and rumpled bed sheets. Instead he has uneven lighting, a bouquet of roses beginning to wilt in a staff member’s hands, and bed sheets rumpled to the point where it looks like crumpled paper. It’s horrible.</p><p>Now maybe Soonyoung wouldn’t have been so distracting if it hadn’t been for his outfit. Jihoon doesn’t know whether to thank the stylists or fire them for putting him in something downright <em>filthy. </em>With leather pants that hug his thighs and a loose silk shirt tucked into a wrapped belt, Jihoon keeps finding his eyes straying to the mesh shirt behind the silk shirt, catching glimpses of Soonyoung’s tan chest with stilted breaths.</p><p>It’s distracting. Too distracting.</p><p>After a few minutes of impatiently waiting and rubbing his thumb absentmindedly on the rings on his finger, Jihoon raises his megaphone again and orders, “We'll begin shooting now. Proceed to your positions and do this fucking right.”</p><p>The music for the second verse begins and Jihoon watches with unwanted envy as Soonyoung returns his head towards Daeun’s neck. Jihoon averts his eyes from the set design to the camera screen in front of him, where he can get a closer look at Soonyoung’s erotic features without the fear of being caught. The sight of his facial expression sends shivers down Jihoon’s spine.</p><p>Soonyoung’s eyes are hooded yet dark with something akin to desire, and his lips are mouthing the words of his song slowly as he stares down at Daeun. Jihoon doesn’t dare look at the snake of a woman, his sharp eyes intently focusing on that of Soonyoung’s instead, and he catches the quick slip of Soonyoung’s tongue flicking out before his head lowers, presumably to make it look like his lips are making contact with Daeun’s skin.</p><p>Jihoon doesn’t realize how hard his heart is pounding against his chest until he blinks.</p><p>“CUT!” he barks, just before Soonyoung’s lips can touch Daeun’s neck. “That was perfect!”</p><p>His voice sounds loud against the walls of the warehouse, but why did that lie sound a thousand times louder?</p><p>Jihoon glances at his wristwatch and rubs a hand down his face. It seems as though he has <em>way </em>too much time in his hands.</p><p>“Take a quick ten minute break, and then I want you all back in your positions when the time comes, do you hear me?” Jihoon asks loudly, and he gets a bunch of affirmative responses in return. Standing up from his stool, he sets his megaphone down and turns to Wonwoo. “Review the footage while I’m gone,” he grumbles. “I’m going to the bathroom.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, sure,” Wonwoo says sarcastically. “Take your time.”</p><p>Ignoring his rude demeanor, Jihoon turns on his heel and walks briskly past all the staff members and towards the washroom, heart still pounding and chest heaving for reasons unknown to him. He’s not sure why he feels the way he does, but he’s trying to convince himself it’s the heat in the warehouse getting to him and <em>not </em>because of a certain someone.</p><p>He swings open the door to the washroom and closes it behind him, stilting his breathing to make sure nobody is in there with him. He even bends down to check underneath the stalls and is immensely relieved to find that he is alone.</p><p>With a long, heavy sigh, Jihoon walks over and turns on the faucet, cupping his hands underneath it before splashing the cool water onto his heated face. He does it three more times, breathing hard between each splash of water as images of Soonyoung’s sultry gaze invade his mind. He stops, gripping hard at the edges of the sink and squeezing his eyes shut in a futile attempt to rid his ex of his head.</p><p>“Get out, get out, get out, get out,” he whispers through gritted teeth, running a wet hand through his hair.</p><p>“We haven’t even properly spoken to each other and you wanna get rid of me already?”</p><p>Jihoon nearly jumps out of his skin, head whipping around to glance at the voice that came from behind him. His attempts of trying to calm himself down have proven to be entirely worthless when his eyes meet Soonyoung’s. He almost swallows at how much more vehement Soonyoung’s eyes seem up close as opposed to on camera.</p><p>They hold eye contact for a moment, neither of them moving or speaking. Jihoon <em>hates </em>how good he looks, and his outfit only accentuates his figure even more. </p><p>Slowly, Jihoon turns around and reaches for a paper towel, dragging the rough texture against his face and inhaling deeply, slowly. He tosses it in the trash and proceeds to avoid all eye contact with Soonyoung, turning around and heading straight for the door. Just as he’s about to open it, he feels a hand grip his wrist and he instinctively jerks back, spinning around with a deadly glare.</p><p>“Let go,” he hisses, and Soonyoung listens.</p><p>“It’s been quite a long time since we last talked properly, Jihoon,” Soonyoung says, walking in front of Jihoon to block the doorway. “Why don’t we catch up?”</p><p>“There is nothing to catch up on,” Jihoon says steely. “Move.”</p><p>Soonyoung doesn’t budge, instead quirking an eyebrow and crossing his arms. “Why are you trying to run away? Let’s talk, Jihoonie, like how we used to be before.”</p><p>Jihoon feels his fingers twitch at the nickname. Suddenly he feels nervous but he tries not to show it, instead lifting his chin defiantly up at the idol. This time it’s not Wonwoo trying to convince him to talk with his ex, but the convincing is coming from the very ex he’s been trying to avoid in the first place. Oh, how the tables have turned.</p><p>“There is nothing to talk about,” Jihoon growls back. “We are not the same people we were all those years ago, Kwon Soonyoung-ssi. We don’t know each other anymore. What was left of us is gone now, and you, out of all the people here, should know that better than anyone else here. You know <em>nothing. </em>”</p><p>“Then explain it to me,” Soonyoung says calmly, and his relaxed demeanor pisses Jihoon off to the core. “Explain why I should know why we’re nothing anymore when it was <em>you </em>who broke it off between us all this time.”</p><p>Jihoon feels heat spiral in his chest, burning the pit of his stomach and making blood rush up to his face with anger. “How is it my fault when it was you who decided to put an end to it without listening to my side of the story? It was <em>you </em>who jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst. It was <em>you </em>who decided to break it off between us, and look where you are now?” He lets out a scoff and crosses his arms. “Congratu—<em>fucking</em>—lations.”</p><p>Soonyoung’s eyes narrow and he takes a step forward, causing Jihoon to take a step back. “Then why didn’t you tell me?” he questions, stalking forward. “Why didn’t you tell me so I’d stay back to listen? You <em>let </em>me walk out on you, Jihoon. You didn’t even try to stop me.”</p><p>“You walked out on me before you could give me the chance to explain!”</p><p>Soonyoung continues on fiercely, “Need I remind you that you accepted an offer to go <em>out of the country </em>to pursue your dream. You didn’t even tell me you accepted the offer until <em>after </em>I found out about it. You hid it from me. That was basically like saying goodbye without a fucking goodbye.”</p><p>Jihoon doesn’t back down, too fired up to realize Soonyoung is backing him up against the wall. “If you had just waited a little, maybe you would’ve fucking realized I <em>was </em>going to tell you about it,” he snarks. “I was getting ready to — ”</p><p>“To what?” Soonyoung cuts in, expression darkening. He leans in closer and repeats, “You were getting ready to what, Lee Jihoon? Leave me? I saw you book a fucking <em>plane </em>ticket, Jihoon — ”</p><p>“And if you waited a little longer, you would have known that I’ve booked <em>two </em>plane tickets,” Jihoon says frustratedly. “I booked you a plane ticket to fly <em>with </em>me, Soonyoung. Did you really think I was going to leave you when I promised you there will always be an ‘us’ until the road to each other ends?”</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“You...what?” Soonyoung questions, rearing back with wide eyes.</p><p>Jihoon feels the anger inside him turn into frustration. He’s always been a very emotional person, but he just doesn’t have the best way of expressing his feelings, hence why he seems angry all the time. In truth, he’s more hurt than he is angry, and he’s more sad than he is hurt, and he’s never felt more vulnerable than right in this moment, right in front of his ex to see.</p><p>“I booked you a plane ticket to come with me before you found out,” Jihoon says bitterly, voice tight as he struggles to reign himself in. “I wanted to surprise you for our fifth anniversary the night you saw that email, but you fucking ruined it with your stupid conclusions.” He raises his hand and shoves it against Soonyoung’s face, showcasing the two rings on his finger. “For fuck’s sake, Soonyoung. I was going to ask you to <em>marry </em>me, but you left me. I’m even wearing what was supposed to be our engagement rings, but you <em>fucking left </em>me instead.”</p><p>He’s too angry to realize Soonyoung had fallen silent, overwhelmed by his pessimistic emotions to realize that he’s revealed too much already. He’s at the point of no return now, and he’s torn between wanting to cry out his frustrations and wanting to slap the living daylights out of Soonyoung for leaving him all those years ago.</p><p>“I thought you were gonna come back,” he continues fiercely, voice beginning to tremble. “We were supposed to talk about it. It wasn’t supposed to escalate at all, but it did, and I <em>hate </em>you for it. You left me hoping you’d come back to me for <em>three months</em>, Soonyoung. Three fucking months. You made me look like an absolute fool. If you had the audacity to walk out of my life, then I sure as hell will do the same to you. Go fuck with Daeun. I’m done. Good—<em>fucking</em>—bye, Kwon Soonyoung.”</p><p>Jihoon pushes past Soonyoung and stomps over to the door, hand already reaching out to twist the handle and ready to step out of Soonyoung’s life, but a hand wraps around his wrist and yanks him back before he can do so. Spinning around, he growls angrily at Soonyoung when he’s pressed up against the wall with his wrists pinned above him and Soonyoung’s thigh pressing between his legs swiftly.</p><p>“Let me fucking go,” snarls Jihoon, struggling earnestly against Soonyoung’s hold. “What do you think you’re doing — ”</p><p>His words are swallowed by Soonyoung’s lips pressing urgently against his, and his senses are suddenly clogged with Soonyoung’s cologne — still smelling the same as he did when they were together, Soonyoung’s hand squeezing his hip — a touch that Jihoon had already familiarized himself with, and Soonyoung’s thigh grazing the area between his legs — a gentle prod that has Jihoon’s hips bucking up instinctively. Jihoon lets out a muffled groan but his body betrays him, leaning into Soonyoung’s touch with fervor, body feeling hot and needy with something akin to desire.</p><p>
  <em>This is Eros...   </em>
</p><p>Soonyoung’s tongue prods against the seam of his lips, and Jihoon reflexively parts them open to let him in. An involuntary moan escapes him as their hot tongues make contact, lips kneading together heatedly. The air between them gradually begins to get hotter and hotter. Jihoon can feel his breathing becoming more labored as Soonyoung continues to press against him. His thigh pushes upwards between his legs, and Jihoon arches into Soonyoung’s body unconsciously, pulling away with a gasp.</p><p>“F-Fuck you,” he pants weakly, head tilting to the side when Soonyoung kisses down his neck. Suddenly he feels emotional, tears welling in his eyes and breaths coming out in stutters. He’s not sure why he’s crying, but he’s certain his sudden breakdown is caused by Soonyoung, because only Soonyoung has this affect on him. “Seriously, Soonyoung...what are we even doing? We...We can’t do this.”</p><p>“Marry me.”</p><p>Jihoon thinks there’s too much blood in his head. “W-What?” he chokes out. “We’re not — ”</p><p>“Marry me,” Soonyoung repeats against the base of his neck, kisses becoming more gentle against Jihoon’s skin. “Put that ring on my finger and let’s get married, Jihoonie.”</p><p>Jihoon’s heart is pounding so loudly in his ears, he thinks he’s misheard Soonyoung. “How can you want to get married when we’re not even together?” he bites out. “There's<em> years </em>worth of pain you’ve put me through. Do you think I’ll forgive you so easily?”</p><p>“No,” Soonyoung says honestly, pushing himself off Jihoon. “I know you won’t forgive me so easily. That’s why I’m asking you to marry me, so I can spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”</p><p>“And what’s so different if we don’t get married? You’ll still be able to make it up to me without a ring.” Jihoon scoffs, crossing his arms. </p><p>Soonyoung stares at him in the eye. “Because I wouldn’t have to worry about you falling for someone else,” he says bluntly. “You think I’ve lost my feelings just like that? I still love you, Jihoon. It’s always been you from the beginning.”</p><p>Something in Jihoon’s heart blossoms. “What about Daeun?”</p><p>Soonyoung quirks an eyebrow. “Jihoon,” he says flatly. “You do remember I’m one hundred percent gay, right?”</p><p>Jihoon lowers his eyes, feeling warmth bloom on his cheeks. “Right.”</p><p>Soonyoung pads up to him, taking his hand and looking down at his fingers, eyes lingering on the two metal bands on Jihoon’s ring finger. “Which one is mine?”</p><p>Silently, Jihoon pulls the top ring off, revealing the ‘<em>l.j.h.' </em>engraved inside.</p><p>Soonyoung grabs it and stares at the engraving for a moment. Something flickers in his eyes, too quick for Jihoon to decipher, then it’s gone in a blink. Soonyoung slides it delicately onto his finger, then thrusts his hand out to admire the way it glints under the lights. It fits his hand beautifully, and Jihoon finds his breath hitching. </p><p>Soonyoung looks up at him and reaches out to intertwine their fingers together, their rings clinking gently against each other. Jihoon almost bursts into tears at the sight but he reigns himself in, heart squeezing in his chest. It’s exactly how he envisioned it.</p><p>“Second chances exist, right?” Soonyoung asks tentatively, squeezing Jihoon’s fingers.</p><p>Jihoon inhales slowly, breaths coming out as a stutter. “They do.”</p><p>Soonyoung’s eyes lower to their intertwined fingers. “So…? What do you think?” he asks hesitantly.</p><p>Jihoon closes his eyes shut. “We still have so much to talk about.”</p><p>“We can do that.”</p><p>“How can I trust you again?”</p><p>“I’ll earn it.”</p><p>“How do I know you won’t leave me again?”</p><p>Soonyoung brings his hand up and kisses his knuckles. “I won’t.”</p><p>“You promise?”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>Jihoon opens his eyes and stares Soonyoung in the eye. “Some promises are meant to be broken, you know?”</p><p>Soonyoung’s gaze doesn’t waver. “Not this one,” he whispers. “This time, I’ll be the one to promise you ‘us’ until this road to each other ends. I won’t let it end here.”</p><p>Jihoon’s eyes flicker back and forth between Soonyoung’s own, trying to find any sort of sign that Soonyoung isn’t confident in his promise. Soonyoung’s sharp eyes remain firm, unwavering, and Jihoon almost looks away from how intense his gaze is.</p><p>“Soonyoung…” he trails off slowly.</p><p>Soonyoung’s expression is patient, understanding, and also a bit fearful. Jihoon doesn’t know what he’s envisioning for their future and frankly, he’s still a little anxious. He hadn’t been expecting to get proposed to in a bathroom when he was simply supposed to be directing a music video. He hadn’t been expecting his ex trying to make his way back into his life either.</p><p>But…</p><p><em>Second chances exist for a reason, </em>he thinks. <em>'Third time’s the charm’ exists for a reason too.  </em></p><p>He untangles their fingers together and watches as the light in Soonyoung’s eyes dim at the gesture. Slowly, Jihoon reaches forward and tugs at Soonyoung’s mesh shirt, pulling him down and pressing one, two, three languid kisses on his lips. He pulls away with a gentle pant, eyes trained on the hopeful expression on Soonyoung’s face.</p><p>Jihoon takes a deep breath.</p><p>“Kwon Soonyoung,” he utters, voice reverberating against the bathroom walls. </p><p>Soonyoung doesn’t say anything, instead watching as Jihoon raises his hand to kiss the ring on his finger that has now made itself home there.</p><p>Jihoon meets his eyes determinedly.</p><p>“Let’s get married.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wasn’t expecting to like writing this prompt so much and I got nervous, hehe, but it turns out I liked the prompt a lot more than I thought I would, especially when "Light a Flame" is involved :) I’m so glad I got a chance to participate in this fest. The experience was really nice ^-^</p><p>Anyway, so a little bit about why I decided to write it this way.<br/>1) Sexual tension, of course, HAHAHA.<br/>2) Soonhoon are exes.<br/>3) I wanted a bit of plot to show through this fic, hehehe. I hope I delivered it well. I was honestly so conflicted about what the angst part should be (admins wanted a happy ending, huhuhu), and I had a hard time trying to come up with an understandable storyline. Yes, it might not be realistic but I think that’s the fun part of fics, y’know? You get to create a world that you envision :)</p><p>And yes, to my weeb lovers out there — Eros came to me from Yuri!!! On Ice :)</p><p>So Eros is one of the 8 types of love. The other 7 are:<br/>Philia — Affectionate Love<br/>Pragma — Enduring Love<br/>Storge — Familiar Love<br/>Ludus — Playful Love<br/>Mania — Obsessive Love<br/>Philautia — Self Love<br/>Agape — Selfless Love</p><p>The Eros concept is a romantic and passionate type of love, and as you’ve read from this fic, it’s also intense and involves a lot of sexual love too. I hope I explained the difference between sexual, intimacy, and Eros right, hehe. I tried making Jihoon sound smart but I think it was a bit unclear :,) </p><p>Anyway, I was thinking of making the 8 types of love into a full blown series featuring Soonhoon going through all the stages of love, hehe. Eros would be part one, followed by Philia, Pragma, Storge, etc. No promises though because I am quite lazy, and I don’t know if I’d even have the motivation to write all those, hehehe. I’m just throwing the idea out there if you guys are interested in reading something like that :) Who knows? Maybe I’d be up for it.</p><p>I was thinking of making this fic in particular into a longer fic (maybe exceeding 10k+ words) just so I can get all the details in and expand on the plot and make it a lot more realistic than just Soonhoon getting heated in the bathroom and somehow popping a ring in the midst of it all, HAHAHA. (I will change the title though so you won’t get confused between the shorter version and the longer version.) I did have to skip on some parts that would help the fic make more sense, but because of the word count limit, I had to cut back some parts. I already have a draft with 6k+ words, so I’m on my way to completing it, hehe.</p><p>Anyway, if another HOWOOnderland fic fest is hosted, it’ll be nice to see more people joining &lt;3 Because of the admins, we now have 60 new fics to read (on AO3 and Twitter combined!) Huhuhu.</p><p>I hope you guys enjoyed this fic though! I think this is the fasted I’ve ever completed a fic (in just 4 days!) but it was really fun writing out the sexual tension, hehe. Hope you guys are still alive when you’re reading this, HAHAHA.</p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/mistehri">Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri">Curious Cat</a></p><p>As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤</p></blockquote></div></div>
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